The offseason had a lot of interesting stories. I'm counting down the 5 most noteworthy. My criteria: Whatever I remembered, I wrote about. You'll find 3/5ths of the list here. The top two stories will be posted later in the week.
#5 Smarty Pants from Da U transfers to NMSU
Rhyan Anderson was a highly rated defensive lineman coming out of high school. He signed up at the University of Miami, but saw limited playing time. He graduated from Miami in three years, and will now be a graduate student at NMSU. This leaves him with two years of eligibility.
Was that dry enough for you? Look, I don’t know anything about the guy, but he has good size at 6-foot-5, 245 lbs. From all accounts he is aggressive and has speed off the line. Hopefully he helps a woeful pass rush. In all honesty though, I only gave him the spot because I want to know to know one thing -- What does he think of Ned?
#4 Tyrone Nelson - Convicted Pie Snatcher
He pleaded no contest to charges of beating down a pizza dude, then stealing a pizza and some wings. From Dominos no less! Tyrone baby, what are you thinking? Everybody knows if you are going to grab some free pizza you call up Pizza Hut.
Regardless, Nelson sealed his fate, and was kicked off of the basketball team. Nelson had an impressive run as an Aggie, and his loss will have a negative impact on the season. In his first season Nelson averaged 17.8 PPG and 8.7 RPG. An injured hand hampered his second season, but he played on all cylinders during the WAC Tournament. I have more to say, but I will post that later. For now…C’iest la vie Tyrone, next time don’t bring your brother and cousin along for the ride.
On the lighter side…AJ Harris, second WR on the depth chart, was also arrested. He was charged with getting his pimp on with the ex. They were later dropped.
#5 Smarty Pants from Da U transfers to NMSU
Rhyan Anderson was a highly rated defensive lineman coming out of high school. He signed up at the University of Miami, but saw limited playing time. He graduated from Miami in three years, and will now be a graduate student at NMSU. This leaves him with two years of eligibility.
Was that dry enough for you? Look, I don’t know anything about the guy, but he has good size at 6-foot-5, 245 lbs. From all accounts he is aggressive and has speed off the line. Hopefully he helps a woeful pass rush. In all honesty though, I only gave him the spot because I want to know to know one thing -- What does he think of Ned?
#4 Tyrone Nelson - Convicted Pie Snatcher
He pleaded no contest to charges of beating down a pizza dude, then stealing a pizza and some wings. From Dominos no less! Tyrone baby, what are you thinking? Everybody knows if you are going to grab some free pizza you call up Pizza Hut.
Regardless, Nelson sealed his fate, and was kicked off of the basketball team. Nelson had an impressive run as an Aggie, and his loss will have a negative impact on the season. In his first season Nelson averaged 17.8 PPG and 8.7 RPG. An injured hand hampered his second season, but he played on all cylinders during the WAC Tournament. I have more to say, but I will post that later. For now…C’iest la vie Tyrone, next time don’t bring your brother and cousin along for the ride.
On the lighter side…AJ Harris, second WR on the depth chart, was also arrested. He was charged with getting his pimp on with the ex. They were later dropped.
#3 Fuck You, Billy Boy
Yeah that’s right I’m talking to you Billy Donovan. I blame you. You had to be a little pussy and crawl back to Florida. Why couldn’t you be a man, and go to the pros, suck it up like all the others of your ilk have, and then come back to the college ranks?
*clears throat*
Oh, excuse me. You probably have no idea what I’m ranting about. Let me explain.
Billy Donovan, former/current coach of the Florida Gators, had accepted (and signed!) a contract with the Orlando Magic. Ron Jeremy Stan Van Gundy was set to be named coach of the Sacramento Kings. Alls wells that ends well, que no? Well, in a word, no.
NBA Head Coach - Stan Van Gundy
Oops. Sorry Stan ... Mr. Van Gundy ladies and gentlemen.
Which brings me back to my point. With Donovan finding out he has no penis, he quickly backed out of his contract and bolted back to Gainesville. The Magic ran off with Van Gundy, and the Maloof brothers were left with their vaginas in their hand.
Have YOU seen my penis anywhere?
Now you may ask yourself; what does all this drivel have to do with NMSU? And all I have to say is; Fuck. You. This isn’t drivel; this shit is apt to NMSU. Because anybody who reads the sports page will know that those girly-men (Gavin and Joe Maloof) grabbed Reggie Theus right out from underneath NMSU. We never saw this coming! I mean a guy who from day one said that he was an NBA guy, taking an NBA job! The audacity of it all!
Honestly, Reggie’s departure was a season earlier than I expected. He, and his caveman brow, weren’t made for Las Cruces. And like I said, he said from day one he wanted to coach in the NBA. Donovan had nothing to do with that, by the way (especially that furrow brow). I think the Kings, as an organization, took a flyer on him as an NBA head coach, but that’s their prerogative. I’m actually looking forward to the preseason game between the Kings and the Mavs at the Pan American Center. I’ll get to shout out – Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! – for the last time.
Honestly, Reggie’s departure was a season earlier than I expected. He, and his caveman brow, weren’t made for Las Cruces. And like I said, he said from day one he wanted to coach in the NBA. Donovan had nothing to do with that, by the way (especially that furrow brow). I think the Kings, as an organization, took a flyer on him as an NBA head coach, but that’s their prerogative. I’m actually looking forward to the preseason game between the Kings and the Mavs at the Pan American Center. I’ll get to shout out – Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! – for the last time.
Coaching: so easy a caveman could do it.
The silver lining – Opposing fans can no longer “hang” this kind of crap over our heads (except the whole robbing a pizza guy thing). Bad pun intended.
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